Some people are mumping and moaning about the low turnout for these new roles down south. But think how much each vote will have counted for – a much higher proportion of the overall turnout than any vote in recent memory.
Quality votes, if you like, rather than mere quantity votes.
Anyway, what’s next up in the Coalition’s rolling feast of democracy? The people, a select few of them at least, are hungry to vote for roles previously regarded by stick-in-the-muds as “non-partisan”, i.e. to be stultifyingly occupied by boring civil servants.
Where’s the progress in that? Where’s the democratic oversight? Is this what our ancestors died for? Here are some suggestions for the next posts which could use a little “people power” to bring them into the 21st century:
- Chief Scientific Officer
- Doctor
- The Director General of the BBC
- The Queen
- Traffic warden
- Returning officer
- First Sea Lord
- Head of planning
- President of the Supreme Court
- Head of HMRC
Think about the quality of candidates we’d get, too. Mr Delingpole might fancy the first on the list, for example, but I would press David Attenborough to run against him. First Sea Lord would attract some excellent candidates, keen to muck about in boats and with a thing for leadership – also look at the excellent hat you get (see above), and what an epic job title. I’d probably make a much better doctor than my doctor too – he never takes my requests for high-end recreational pharmaceuticals seriously.
And head of HMRC! What fun! Which companies should pay their full tax? You decide. Same thing with planning – the back-scratching opportunities would be immense. Traffic warden might sound like less fun, but a committed environmentalist could just do all the 4x4s and leave all the Priuses (Priii?) alone. And it’s working in the outdoors, keeping fit. Probably less competitive than the election we’d see for Queen, as well: there’d also be quite a lot of traffic wardens to elect. Thank goodness they wouldn’t all get a Freepost leaflet or we’d need to elect more posties too. Returning officer may also sound quite dull, but you get to pick who’s elected next time, so that’d actually be quite powerful.
Anyway, the logic is impeccable, and today the Coalition has made a great start. Three cheers for democracy!
#1 by Doug Daniel on November 16, 2012 - 8:53 am
“4. The Queen”
Oh come on now James, you’re just being silly there. How on earth could an ordinary pleb learn how to wave at people and shake hands with other heads of state?
Clearly this should be Teachers, so we can decide democratically what our children are being taught at school. Make sure they’re not being taught all this science rubbish by electing sensible Daily Mail readers to teach instead.
The rest are all very sensible, particularly doctors. Why should I listen to a clever clogs when I know what’s REALLY wrong with me?
#2 by Donald MacDonald on November 16, 2012 - 9:39 am
Colour me cynical, James, but I think you’re taking the piss. Hmm?
#3 by Barbara Gribbon on November 16, 2012 - 10:08 am
Prof David Nutt for Chief Scientific Officer! He’d be a shoe-in, cos the only people that care are people with some science training, and out of all the possible candidates (Cox, Aderin-Pocock, Al Khalili, Goldacre) he yields the biggest bloody nose to the anti-evidence brigade, and we all know that getting the political boot in the real value of this sort of contest…
Oh, wait…
#4 by Juteman on November 16, 2012 - 5:02 pm
You must have contacts at the Beeb.
Seemingly a new Lottery is about to be unrolled. The lucky winners family will become the ‘royal’ family for a year. It will be the bestest reality show ever. Hidden cameras will show Princess Kylie showing her kebab, and everything. Innit.
#5 by Chris on November 16, 2012 - 11:47 pm
Well I voted Labour in the Thames Valley Police Commissioner election. Tories won as expected but closer than I expected in an area with as far as I can tell one Labour MP in a sea of blue.
I am not surprised the vote is low. The Thames Valley has half the population of Scotland, but there is very little cohesion between the three counties (Oxon, Bucks and Berks) and no obvious centre with Oxford and Reading vying for predominance.
I really can’t work out what this election has achieved apart from giving the legions of retired folk round here something to do for a morning.