A guest post today from superstar anonymous blogger Red Fox. No, you will find out no more.. but it ain’t Colin Fox, that much I guarantee.

Hamster WarsA few years ago, I attended a football match that put me off the live game forever. The thuggish atmosphere, pathetic name calling and aggression of everyone around me were more than I could be bothered with.

For a while now I’ve felt the same about FMQs – the weekly showdown where, in theory, MSPs are given the opportunity openly to call the First Minister to account on matters of policy and legislation. In reality it’s nothing of the kind. I’m not going to claim that there was ever a golden age of FMQs – but recently it has degenerated into an ugly mash-up of every dodgy leaflet the LibDems ever produced, every ‘blame London’ line the SNP has ever taken and every bitter resentment ever uttered by a Labour Party that still hasn’t learned the lessons of the last Scottish Parliament or Westminster elections. The Greens rarely even get a question and most of the 30 minutes is eaten up by the four main party leaders having a squabble.

Things feel like they’ve gotten worse in the past five years, based partly on Alex Salmond’s return to the front bench at Holyrood. He didn’t arrive alone, but brought with him a Westminster culture of jeering and finger jabbing that some of us all hoped we’d be freed from when we imagined our Scottish Parliament with its founding principles of openness, accountability, power sharing and equal opportunities. Instead we’ve created a weak replica of the Commons, without any of the good bits. I can only wonder if an independent Scotland would similarly adopt all the worst aspects of the union and forget to do anything worthwhile.

It can’t all be placed at Alex Salmond’s door though. The Labour Party’s horror at it’s rejection from its “rightful place” at the heart of Scottish politics has fostered an embittered, accusatory attitude among many of their MSPs, rather than a calling-to-account questioning one. We’re seeing the kind of tribalism between the SNP and the Labour Party that’s traditionally been reserved for their dealings with the Tories.

It’s often said that you can’t – or shouldn’t – have a Parliament where members don’t have the right to question the leader of the government. However, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of point in having the right to ask a question if you don’t have the right to get an answer to that question. Or, if instead of asking a question, you choose instead to sling accusations and soundbites.

In 2003 FMQs was moved from its 3.10pm slot to its current timing at noon. One of the reasons cited was that it would allow school parties to watch FMQs. I’d rather that school children were actually able to see a real debate taking place about substantive points on policy. Not the lowest form of politics, which recently saw the First Minister describe Labour leader Iain Gray of being “schizophrenic.” That’s not the kind of scene I’d want my kid subjected to during their school day. How long is it going to be before we witness the same kind of behaviour at Holyrood as we do at Westminster; women routinely harassed and, just last week, a Tory MP who has cerebral palsy complaining that Labour MPs had mocked his condition during his speech with exaggerated facial gestures.

For now I’ll watch the weekly bunfight the same way that I watch any football that I see – on a screen, at a distance from any live action. But at least sometimes football can be impressive. I can’t remember the last time I saw anything to be impressed by at FMQs.