Last day, the end is in sight, and still they come.  Good party activists that they are, the delegates were back at Eden Court this morning bright and early to vote on internal elections and organisational matters.

You would be wrong to think today is a damp squib – three Cabinet Secretaries making flagship speeches and that all-important Roadmap to Independence to be sketched by Angus Robertson MP, the party’s campaign manager extraordinaire.

One highlight for me has been catching up with old friends and making new ones, one such being the ever smiley and cheery Humza Yousaf MSP.   His conference highlight?  “Arriving on the first day, my first time as an MSP at a party conference, wondering how it was going to be.  And walking into a packed hall.  First session, packed to the rafters, taking my breath away.  I knew from that point that it was going to be a great conference.”

Here are some snippets which are exclusive – in that, you won’t read them anywhere else and this is probably the first and only time you’ll read them.  But to avoid trampling on sensibilities, I hesitate to call them an exclusive.  Some of them can be filed under “no I am not making this up”  and some of course you might wish to take with a pinch of salt, but I’ll leave it to you to decide which is which.

I was delighted to meet Jim Torrance, who since he joined the party in 1974, has converted 42 of his family members into becoming SNP supporters and/or members.  In some families, gifts of rattles and soft toys are bestowed upon new babies.  One wonders if in Jim’s family, each wean gets a party membership and a Saltire.

So far, the record for latest to bed is 7 am Saturday morning.  One of them even managed to work a full shift – all day and into the evening.  It’s not just the Irn Bru that’s made from girders…

Only in the SNP – a resolution was debated on Saturday simultaneously praising the Scottish Independence Convention while calling for a “broad based pro-independence coalition, taking within its scope people of all parties and none”.  It gets better.  Someone then decided this should be remitted back.  So, there was a short debate on the need for a broad based pro-independence coalition that some felt the party needed to go away and think about, not least because of the existence of the Convention which could fufil this role.  Like I said.  Only in the SNP.  (The motion was carried, in case you care).

Apparently, the SNP is now too big for conference.  The party’s requirements are now so large, that there is not a venue in Scotland can accommodate them.  An insider told me (in strictest confidence you understand) that the party was now thinking of commissioning a cruise liner for next year’s conference.  Docking at Peterhead to allow delegates aboard, the ship would then sail northwards, stopping off to share fraternal conviviality with Nordic cousins, before heading for Spitzbergen to see the polar bears.  Why?  Why not, my confidante said.  Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase booze cruise….

Up in the Gods with the SNP?  One veteran of the party conference circuit was astonished to discover that Eden Court theatre has, in fact, three floors.  Arriving on Friday for the afternoon session, they were told to keep climbing at every floor, as that part of the hall was full.  On being sent ever upwards, our intrepid veteran became suspicious, if also a little breathless.  “I’ve been at every Labour conference in Inverness, and never knew there was a third floor up in the Gods. Was never needed nor used by them.”  Which says it all.

No conference is complete without its stushies.  Aside from the very obvious one on same-sex marriage which performed the useful task of keeping the media pack busy filing copy about something and nothing, the big issue has been access to the main hall for the First Minister’s speech.   Despite having three rows – yes, three rows, that’s how many elected politicians the SNP has these days – reserved for them at the front, many MSPs found themselves crammed in in the cheap seats.  Indeed, many – including Government Ministers – ended up watching the speech from one of the overflow areas.  Some of them are still muttering about the indignity of it all…. wee lambs.

The SNP might be a big tent, but actually it’s a great big family.  Last night’s karaoke fundraiser?  Think the worst family wedding imaginable, with all your most embarrassing aunties and uncles.  All of them, in one place.  Then give them a microphone and an open stage…..

Yep, for your delight and delectation, for one night only (thank god) please welcome the men and women who run Scotland, murdering their way through power ballads and classic cheesy numbers.  Chic Brodie, in full Elvis garb, was an undoubted highlight.  He was fantastic.  We were not worthy frankly.

Sandra White and Christine Grahame made a very passable attempt at the Proclaimers’ 500 miles.  George Adam would appear to be Paisley’s very own, passable Sinatra impersonator.

But the undoubted “star turn” was an excrutiating and risible version of Should I stay or should I go by Bill Kidd MSP.  Stick to whipping Bill, stick to whipping….