Our two crowned headsThe risk with starting a regular Worst Motion of the Week series is that the howlers may soon start to dry up and you end up shining a light on parliamentary business that really isn’t so bad.

Well, that moment may come in the future but it won’t be today, as we have two beauties (and by beauties I do mean uglies) to regretfully parade:

The first is from the Conservatives’ John Lamont, a seasoned MSP who really should know better by now:

Motion S4M-00670 – John Lamont ( Ettrick, Roxburgh and Berwickshire ) ( Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party ) : Sprouston Sweet Pea Centenary

That the Parliament joins local residents in celebrating the Sprouston Sweet Pea Centenary, which celebrates the success of local Minister, the Rev Denholm Fraser who, along with his wife, won first and third prizes in the Daily Mail Sweet Pea competition at Crystal Palace in London in 1911; notes that the Rev Fraser won the considerable prize of £1,000, beating off competition from 38,000 entries; recognises the work of the local community to organise a series of events in the village to mark the occasion, and congratulates the winners of this year’s competition.

Supported by: Jamie Hepburn, David Torrance, Margaret Mitchell, Richard Lyle, Claudia Beamish, Jamie McGrigor, Liz Smith, Nanette Milne

Don’t be fooled by the cross party support for the above. Commemorating a century-old gardening competition focussing on an obscure plant is highly dubious behaviour. I’m sure Rev Fraser’s sweet peas were beautiful and I hope that the local community has an absolute barnstormer of a celebration but, to use accountancy-speak, this issue is, or at least should be, immaterial for the Scottish Parliament. Trifling in fact.

Our second shameful motion from the past week comes from the SNP’s James Dornan:

Motion S4M-00749 – James Dornan ( Glasgow Cathcart ) ( Scottish National Party ) : Labour Hypocrisy over Lightburn Hospital

That the Parliament regrets the apparent hypocrisy of Labour politicians in calling for the proposed closure of Lightburn Hospital to be halted; notes that, on 25 November 2010, Labour members of Glasgow City Council voted to support the closure of hospital, and considers that calls to save it have nothing to do with the welfare of patients but instead concern the career prospects of Glasgow Labour councillors who, it considers, face defeat at the 2012 elections.

Supported by: Christina McKelvie, Rob Gibson, Bill Walker, David Torrance, Roderick Campbell, Adam Ingram, Gil Paterson, Kenneth Gibson, Mike MacKenzie, Stuart McMillan, Bob Doris, Humza Yousaf

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blaaah.

Witness the backbench partisan support. Witness the typos no doubt due to the faux finger fury when this was typed up. Witness the empty point scoring and unconstructive nature of the post. Witness the sole objective of lobbing one over to the other side. Witness the slow strangulation of a flailing democracy that is deadening behind once sparkling eyes and which could have been so, so beautiful.

Ok, that last one was a bit much, but these motions are stinkers. Let’s just hope that the standard is improved when Parliament is back in business next week.