Why was the skeletal motion feeling lonely? Because it had no body to sign it.

Yes, it is seasonal themed jokes folks. Pile in.

The reason? Well, a rather spoo-oo-ooky motion left by Christine Grahame this week. You’ll scream in horror if you don’t faint in shock at its bloodcurdling ghoulishness:

Motion S4M-01168 – Christine Grahame (Midlothian South, Tweeddale and Lauderdale) (Scottish National Party) : Whatever Happened to Halloween?
That the Parliament notes the Americanisation of Halloween, whereby guising has become a commercialised trick or treat event with pumpkins, and urges the Scottish Government to take steps to bring back the tumshie.

Americanisation? Are we now living in Howllywood? North (or South) Scarolina? Are we all eating Boo-berry Pie? Is Glasgow now home to the (forgive me) Vampire State Building?

And what’s tumshies all about?

I really do have no idea what Christine is getting at, but, well, is that maybe her point?

Halloween for me is dooking for apples, more monkey nuts than you know what to do with, tin foil and toilet paper for a costume that the effort doesn’t ‘really’ justify and telling insufferable jokes in front of patient neighbours.

It is not trick or treating, it is not toilet papering and it is not about making money but are these things even present in Scotland let alone endemic? Is the SNP MSP creating a phantom issue here?

The SNP will be fighting their battles on many fronts but they should be seeking sanctuary in holidays (St Andrew’s Day to one side) and not adding them to their list of grievances.

So, what does this motion and a vampire have in common? They both suck.

(h/t @DuncMcKay)